Sad faces for my leaving do!
I'm not sure if it was the hangover or the sheer excitement but as I walked through not only Customs but also Immigration I was pulled aside both times. Each time the same question, "Ohhhh you're going to Guatemala" I replied half-heatedly "Yep, can't wait", then a puzzled frown as the man scanned me up and down stating "..and you're flying out of Colombia?" At moments like this I wanted to reply sarcastically, yes, I'm running the cartel and I'm needed to sort out a few family matters, but no all I got was, "Right over here, please open your bags."
As I smugly passed through customs I reflected that at least I had managed to even make the airport when I couldn't even tie my own shoe lace at this point.
So, I had just about made my plane, somehow packed with a severe case of dehydration, booming headache and sleep deprivation and now was gearing up for some movie action. Ah ha Inglourious Basterds, I haven't seen this before, great. So as I'm settling down to a bit of Tarantino cinema magic, glorious soundtracks and Jewish revenge I realised the man, oh so sitting macho with legs spread shoulders pushed back, was a German. I sort of froze in that awkward fashion as he read the German subtitles whilst Brad Pitt smashed the hell out of some poor Wehrmacht officer. Great, me and spread leg are going to be best of buddies for the next 8 hours. So I gave up jostling for the arm. One nil down much like the football.
I love getting off planes. I find it utterly farcical. Not only does everyone clamber to be first off but people do that half stand-half sitting position. You know the one when if you are sitting in either the window or middle seat you try to squeeze out. As is always the case the aisle is too full so you awkwardly prop yourself up with your arm resting on the chair whilst some idiot smashes themselves with their 40KG hand luggage. The morale of the story is after giving up my left arm for the sake of Anglo-German relations I had nothing left in my left gun than to meekly sit and watch everyone else do what I secretly wanted.
Next, I will briefly floss over my time in NYC because it wasn't my finest hour, sleeping in Newark airport and somehow trying to wash standing up at 4am in the airport toilets, I looked good.
I boarded my second of three flights to Houston surrounded by 'hockey Mum's' and 'men wearing the coolest cowboy boots but for real and not trying to be Hoxton'. It was here I nearly missed my connection. I didn't. Happy days. Phew. Next from Houston to Guat'. I sat by a rather intriguing lady, 55 to be exact, from Washington State, a Pastor who was Asthmatic.
I only know all this because she didn't know how to fill out her immigration declaration form.
It was Wendy Treat's first time out of the grand old US of A. It was also the first time she had got a passport, cue mocking sarcasm that she just really didn't understand, ah bless. No really bless, she was a Pastor. In case you didn't know, the word pastor usually refers to an ordained leader of a Christian congregation. Interesting.
So as I flippantly filled out the immigration form, Wendy struggled. Bless again. The confused look on her face when the form asked 'please state whether you are bringing in any drugs' puzzled her deeply, bless. This is when I found out she was Asthmatic. She ticked no, after not believing me and having to confirm with an Air Hostess. Idiot.
Touch down. I had finally arrived after 23.5 hours of travel into Guatemala.
I then had a strange encounter culminating in swapping email addresses with the girl behind the counter of the money exchange in the airport. She then proceeded to add me on Facebook. Specifically, when I was mustering random words to her in Spanish asking her where the bus stop was for Antigua she shook her Mayan head and took me outside and negotiated a very cheap taxi just so I didn't have to get the bus. I tried to explain I was hard as nails but she wasn't having any of it. But hey, email address (and subsequent emails) for a taxi the same cost as the bus. Done.
Anyway, I'm now in come rain and sun Antigua and on a Spanish course.
Here's a snippet of my breakfast, potato, chicken, rice and bean omelette.
Roadside lunch (Tim you would love it)! Mini Tortillas filled with chicken, avocado, chillis, onions, tomato topped off with a fiery chilli picante. Delicious and for only 110pence!
I'll get some photos of Antigua up in the next few days. Hope all are well.
Hasta Luego amigos.
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